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Throughout much of history, sacred sex practices have been kept secret. Only recently have spiritual teachers begun to openly discuss erotic aspects of their work, to go more public with these teachings. Margo Anand and her Sky Dancers school, the Baghwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) and Mantak Chia, the Chinese Taoist master, are some of the best known examples.
The current interest in sacred sexuality represents a great hunger in our culture, part of a larger effort toward mind/body healing. Many of us are wounded in our capacity for loving relationships and have been taught to fear sex, or at least be ashamed of it, to see it as something "in the way" of true spiritual development, not a pathway of spirit.
What is sacred sex? It is a set of beliefs and practices which seek to heal the split between mind and body, the erotic and the religious, and to bring them together, through daily practices and ritual experiences.
For several years I have been researching contemporary U.S. trends in sacred sexuality; where the historical and cultural roots of these traditions come from, and how the various teachings are practiced. I am especially focusing on those traditions which revere the feminine as well as the masculine, and which support diverse forms of love relationships and sexual identities. I have found groups located in New York, Massachusetts, North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Oregon, Arizona, Washington State, Wisconsin, California, Maryland and New Mexico. Some of these groups are intentional communities, some are membership groups which meet regularly, others are training/teaching groups which offer workshops to the public, some groups are focused on performances of erotic/spiritual rituals for the public. Some of these groups are all women, some are all men, some are mixed-sex.
The U.S. sacred sexuality traditions have influences ranging from Eastern to Native American, from European earth-based and occultist forms to Afro-Caribbean. I've talked to almost 150 people over the past few years whose sacred sex involvement ranges from a few weekend workshops and self-help books, to sincere and thorough efforts to change their lives through daily practices that blend the spiritual and the erotic more effectively.
Part of the appeal of Eastern sacred sex approaches is that - in an age when people are becoming more stressed about sexual performance and the prevalence of sexual violence - contemporary tantric/taoist practices instead emphasize whole-body sensuality, gently prolonged touching, breathing deeply and visualizing oneself and one's lover as divine. The increased urgency for safer sex, brought about by the AIDS crisis, has also encouraged people to talk more sensitively about their sexual and emotional needs. All this has contributed to a re-evaluation of penetrative intercourse/orgasm as lovemaking's sole goal and, consequently, a more spirit-sensitive approach to sex. Many sex educators and counselors have followed suit by advocating "outercourse" as an alternative to, or variation from, intercourse.
"Outercourse" means ways of sharing intimacy and/or orgasm - petting, erotic massage, mutual masturbation, oral sex, sex with sex toys such as dildos or vibrators - that need not involve shared bodily fluids or unsafe sex. And it is partially an interest in these alternative, safer modes that has first led more people to explore sacred sex techniques (erotic massage, meditation, etc.)
Still, our culture deeply fears talking openly and respectfully about sexuality. Conversations about the diversity of sexual orientations and identities - lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual, transgendered, intersexed - are especially fraught with difficulty. Although sacred sex is slowly affecting popular discourse, it often stops at the pop, watered-down stage rather than rising to the level of seriously encouraging reflection about WHY our culture separates mind and body, sex and spirit, and how healing of our sexuality and spirituality can take place.
As sacred sex practices become more widespread, more people will understand the profound relevance that harmonizing sex and spirit has to healing both our environment and ourselves. But even body-centered, sex-positive, woman-affirming spiritual beliefs and practices can tend to reinforce gender stereotypes. A lot of sexism gets rationalized through the notion that men are mental, active and light, and women the opposite (emotional, passive and ark). These dichotomies not only erase the vast middle ground where most of us live, they also tend to privilege male/female dyads exclusively. Therefore, I am finding that some of the most interesting sacred sexuality developments occur in non-heterosexual, queer-friendly settings; in women's spirituality communities, gay communities, neo-pagan communities -- where gender expressions are more fluid and women's leadership and diverse relationship modes more encouraged.
The term "temple prostitute" is a good case in point. "Temple prostitute" is a mistranslation, an artifact of the biases of white male scholars who couldn't imagine women serving Goddess and being spiritually and sexually powerful, not under the control of men. According to Merlin Stone in When God Was A Woman, the actual word means "Holy Woman." Translating it as "temple prostitute" makes about as much sense as calling a priest today a "temple bartender" because he uses wine in the communion ceremony. Still, "temple prostitute" or "sacred prostitute" is compelling precisely because it evokes a clash of images - holy and profane, spiritual and sexual all at once.
At this time, when body and spirit are still split asunder, and when most religions still teach us to suppress the body's desires to achieve spiritual enlightenment, holding spirituality as inherently erotic is both a reverent and a revolutionary act.
As the director of San Rafael's Sacred Space Institute, Dr. Deborah Anapol says, "Our ambivalence toward sex, love, the family, and the whole ecology of human relatedness has led us to the point of destroying the very things which make us human. Now we must re-create a culture which honors both sex and spirit, and supports the relationships to which they give birth." Participation in the growing sacred sexuality movement offers us a unique opportunity to achieve such a culture.
Editor's Note: Loraine Hutchins' first EroSpirit Sacred Sexualities Seminar Series ends with 3 Wednesday sessions in late May to mid June. For more information on them call 202/496-1630. Loraine Hutchins, co-editor of Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out, the book that catalyzed the modern bisexual movement, is earning her Cultural Studies doctorate in Queer Feminist Sacred Sex.